This movie clip from Pretty Woman has stuck with me forever. I do it all the time and make people guess what movie. Sometimes they get it...sometimes they don't.
http://www.hark.com/clips/hbgjbmrlwn-mine-are-broken
Anyway, I feel like that's all T can say about his parents lately...and it's been pretty dang depressing.
Back in October, as we were sleeping (all excited to head off to Lexington to see our BFF's)... Holt got really sick. REALLY sick with the stomach flu that you so kindly shared Tristan :) In the process of all of that, he blew out his back. Unbeknownst to us, there was much more brewing than the stomach flew and some sore muscles.
Holt has spent the last 7 months being poked and prodded, blood drawn, nasty amounts of drugs and some serious physical therapy. The latest batch of loveliness is one of his "new drugs to try" has broken his body out with a full blown rash. It's horrible - about 1,000 tiny bumps all over his upper body - and I'm not exaggerating. He is itchy and miserable...and did I mention - BUMPY.
Then there's me... a few years ago, I hurt my shoulders... then T... well you came along and because it was our job to keep you as safe as possible, your car seat was in the center of my car and every time I took you in and out.... I was injuring my rotator cuff - an old sports injury that I kept making worse and worse.... heap a bunch of weight into the mix (and a lack of working out )and when I did run the dogs basically killed me and it made my shoulders worse and injured my neck too -although I suspect that has been coming for a while as well...
Mix in a ton of personal stress, my job has because about 75% more intense and we've all been SOOOO sick over the last few months and VOILA`! Guess what we get? Well, I'll tell you...
HURT. T's better (praise God) but we're broken. Hence my quote above.
So I'll spare you all of the details, because this would be a two hour read....
Holt is having back surgery on Monday. Ugh... yes, back surgery. After about 20 doctors, he found one he likes and trusts. I don't know all of the details because he set it up two days ago and I haven't seen the info yet. He has to bulging discs and they have to go in and shave off some of the cartilage (I think) so that he has proper spacing and alignment. He will be staying overnight (here)... on Monday.
Methodist Hospital for Surgery - www.methodisthospitalforsurgery.com
He will then stay with Sam and Ruth Ann for the next few days. It's just too hard to explain to Tristan why he can't jump on Daddy, why they can't wrestle and have sword fights. Then there are the dogs... ugh, the dogs... if they hit him, jump on him, knock him over it could be REALLY bad. Hopefully within 6 weeks he's fully recovered. I freaked at first. I mean come on, Holt is 38 having BACK SURGERY. I thought the epidurals in his spine were bad enough...now this. They say that he can drive again (short distances) in a week...we'll see. For now, I'm going into mental single parenting mode because I NEED to have zero expectations from him and I need him to have NONE on himself. The most important thing is getting better. This rash should go away in 5 days and HE QUIT SMOKING - thank you Jesus - so overall, the only other switch he has to make is eating healthy. Lucky for us... that leads to me....
I've been treated for my neck and shoulders for two years. 4 weeks ago, I had a major neck/back blow out and I have been having my doc, Mary Collings (who mind you works on all the Cowboys, the Stars, the MAVS, etc - she's good) - she couldn't fix me. Off to a specialist I went. I had 3 hours of MRI's taken... while I had full blow bronchitis. NEVER, EVER do that. No coughing for 3 hours? I had to dig my nails into my skin to give me some other "pain" to think about. Then we have my toe issue. I'm JUST starting to walk normal, no running or anything for me until this toe nail falls off and I can wear a shoe. Guess how well it went over that I wore flip flops to work every day for 2 weeks? Yeah... I wrote Apple yesterday and told them their stupid iPad almost cut my toe off... we'll see what happens with that. I'm sure nothing.
Anyway, Monday I was at the neck surgeon. After reviewing my MRI's and X-Rays, he concluded that I do have a bulging disk in my spine (neck - C5 & C6) and some arthritis. I guess that means I'm old. BUT the radiologist that read my scans is the "I can always find something wrong guy" I guess and they said currently there is no need for surgery and no need for an epidural in my neck. FOR NOW. So instead, he gave me prednisone to calm the ridiculous swelling in my neck and joints. If this doesn't work.... shots and maybe PT. Hopefully I can start Pilates and Yoga soon..I cannot stand being fat. NASTY.
Yesterday I went back for my shoulders. Great news again - no surgery!! I have bursitis in my left shoulder, partial tears in both and some degenerative arthritis in both. Shocking! So in comes the horse needles and I had cortisone injected in my shoulder. It sucked but not nearly as bad as the crap they used to do to my toes and ankles before they diagnosed me with Raynaud's disease. This doctor was PHENOMINAl.. I adore him and with he could be my evrything/forever doctor. Soooo - he said Physical Therapy 2-3 days a week depending on what they decide. lovely, just one MORE thing to do (but again) better than surgery)
So I've had it. I'm doing anything and everything I can to be healthier. I've started the 17-Day Diet. You can read about it online if you care to. Anyway, just a faster way of cleaning out your system, eating better food and getting the crap out (processed sugar, etc - which I truly think I am addicted to)- so while it is a BIG pain in the arse... it's worth it. I FEEL better and if I lose weight because of it, so be it. I am on day 3 and I've survived so long. If I lose my 12 lbs. in 15 days, great...if not, I keep going and then reintroduce foods back in slowly. Once I am back to normal but healthy eating... I'll start helping Holt into it. Tristan - you are a God-send. You love broccoli, you love salad (holy weirdness) and all meats and fish. He hates potatoes and isn't much of a mac and cheese, french fry, etc. eater so hopefully we can temper that as you get older. I'm not going to be one of those freaky parents that doesn't let you have McDonald's or candy bars.... I just hope that you have a love of a healthy life.
So - recap - Holt surgery on Monday, staying with the rents then back home. Debby Lane is my HERO - she's going to help me get T to and from school (she works across the street from it) and this will help me keep my job. Let's just say that my bosses don't have a lot of compassion. Just another year... just ONE MORE YEAR and please JESUS!! Get us back to the east coast!!
I will be starting PT and with Debby helping me I can actually start now vs. whenever Holt is able to drive again and take T - could be a week - could be six weeks. Whatever it is, I just want him out of pain and better. I have been SO sad for him.
Ruth Ann and Sam will help too when we need it and Connie has offered to take T at a moments notice or come and stay and help... whatever. So again, I don't know what I would do without knowing they were there. My Re|Engage group would help as well and we have James and Sue whenever we need T to have some tiny playmates. They are cousins after all :)
We are off to camp this weekend - well tomorrow and Sat then back home at 9pm or so. I have to serve in kids church on Sunday then I get home and take T to Connie's while Holt goes sailing - he needs some peace and I need some girl time.
Please pray for us. This isn't easy and it all feels overwhelming. Holt feels bad that his family is fussing over him - but it's our job. You knock down a Barber (or Ross, Kinson, Panarites, Mazzeo, Coggeshall, Lane, etc.) you get a crew of "family" comin' at'cha!
Praise God - T is ok... but seriously as we walk around (or in my case hop with one foot in the air and in Holt's hunched over like a 200 year old man) - he's got to think - WTH!? Who's going to take care of me when I'm 10 - surely THEY won't make it - hahahahaha
Little does he know... I'm a fighter... I'll be back and healthy in no time. Just a few changes...and a little time. And Daddy - you can't keep him down long either. He's got to get back to boating and hiking... he'll fight hard for that and for us...
Sorry for the long read - if you've even made it this far ;)
I just had to get it out!!!
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